The Purina Diet

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the
wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!
WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!!